strike hard

I made awesome friends this year. But why do I feel like I just can't let go of the fact that next year's gonna be different? ShitShitShitShitShit.

Came back from Leadership Training Camp. 1 word, AWESOME (if it only could describe the millions of feelings im feeling right now). My group Snape-Slytherin rocked asses.

Link to our (Slytherin's) campfire performance! http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?comments&v=226374928205#/video/video.php?v=226374928205

And now, I have this particular feeling that I miss loads of people. Campmates, Camp prefects, My class (I so wanna give you guys a great big hug!), Fifah, Angeline, Nadiah, Ida, Atifa (I wanna squish you guys to bits!)

Take that!

Stop asking me to reflect

There's nowhere left to fall. It's now or never

I officially proclaim 2009 to be the biggest setback. There might be worst years ahead but for now it is the biggest.

Don't get me wrong. People might think 'Oh that Aishah, now she's wallowing in her misery after getting retained'. Fact is, I'm not. This year, though it has not ended, has opened up my eyes to all possibilities that can happen in our judgement, decisions, options.

I told myself to be calm and collected if the possibility of retainment came true. I came prepared with my usual mindset, 'God decides everything for you, and whatever happens is always the best for me because God is the best decision maker. I wont regret anything cos i did my best, or my best in that situation'

But somehow things didn't go as planned. There were instances where even an innocent 'Don't worry, we'll still be with you' by Taisoon made me start tearing in the LT and siti's sincere interest in asking me how I was and her deep stare into my eyes made me feel like crying and I just avoided her eyes and told her I was ok.

At times like this, Im the sort of person who'd totally show you a 'I don't give a damn' or 'Its ok, Im strong' face but deep down if somehow, someone knew where that crack in me was, they would know Im not like that. I'd like to thank those people. Thanks for being there for me listening to my calls and those nice smses. Love you guys.

It's not over yet I'm sure.

Let it be

When you try your best and you don't succeed.
When you get what you want but not what you need.
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep.
Stuck in reverse.

When the tears come streaming down our face.
When you lose something you can't replace.
When you love soemone but it goes to waste .
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you.

___________

The song says it all.
For now, I'll need some rest to think what further decisions I will have to make regarding exams.

On a brighter note, tmrw's outing to Sentosa with peeps, Nadiah's return from London, possible squad outing, soccer training resumes on monday. Definitely something worth looking forward to.

Screw everything else bitch.

let it go

THIS TIME WILL SOON PASS.

I'll probably look back at it laughing my ass off and shaking my head in disbelief at how immature and sensitive I am.

These are a few of my favourite things

Time flies by real past. It has been a great 4 years with my bitches and 8 months with the bengs and lians.

I love looking at photos like these and they never fail to make me happy.

Anw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANGELINE MADJUKIE & PAPA.

LOVE YOU ANGELINE MADJUKIE *BIG HUG & KISS*