I can't stand this. I hate it when my parents treat me like a kid and make a mountain out o a molehill or about every non existan problem. I know they mean well but please give me a break seriously.

Oh yes, by saying that I want a break everybody in the family would probably that I'm probably such a wreck cos they always gave me too much leeways and such already.

And this is considered an unnecessary rant but I have always wanted to break some heads when I hear this. THE NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS: 'AISHAH YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO GET RETAINED' WILL GET TO SUCK MY IMAGINARY DICK.

Urgh. Honestly, I'll end up taking As sooner or later and I know people will argue that I have the benefit of time and such but seriously, you people do not know how it ACTUALLY feels like until you've experienced it. Almost all the J2s are already complaining about the J1s. I am in the same cohort as them. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM FEELING AH?

I just need for people to believe that I can do well this year. That is enough. No need for sympathy please.

I told someone from my class that I was a retainee cos she was asking me why I was already in soccer and if I was in DSA or something. She replied saying ' Its ok don't be sad. Think of it as a fresh start.

I should just tell people I'm an Indonesian scholar or something.

(Y)

U-TURN

Just gonna list things that happened today

1. Got to know my class. Bonding is still a far way ahead. Don't ask me why.

2. Feeling out of place for god knows why. Thank god Madjukie is a phonecall away to knock some sense into me and listen to me.

3. I love Angeline Madjukie

4. I miss Atifa, Ida, Nadiah, Maryam & Fifah

5. Maryam, the reason why I prob don't tell you everything is because I'm usually tired of repeating what I said to Angeline. Angeline thinks you are probably jealous. HAHAHA. love you. why you so act cool retainee in MJ sia?

6. SNSD-Star, Star, Star

7. 2PM - Only you

8. 2AM- I can't let you go even i I die

9. I think I talk too much sometimes, I deserve to get shot.

10. Everyday is a new day. I tell myself that I can overcome everything as long as I have faith in Allah.

11. Soccer training today. Everybody felt tired except for me. I need extra training sessions cos being a goalie is very slack seriously.

im a sensitive aging woman

I have learnt that by being 1 year older, there are  just some things you need to not care so much about in life cos its of no use. JUST DON'T CARE. JUST FREAKING LET IT GO, DON'T BOTHER IT DOESNT HELP YOU.

yes and I wish to stay that way. just that I forget that sometimes cos of the J1s.

I am over the whole 'Lets fit it with other people phase. I don't need people to decide whether I am too cool or uncool for them. Cos seriouly that's lame.

I'd rather live my life with the crazy dudes next door being happy & high, getting drunk on coffee while devising plans on how to take over the world.

Ultimately, Im just interested in getting chemistry and math to shed some love for me. thanks.

Maryam and Angeline, we need to go out together. SOON.

Nadiah's coming back from london on 13th feb. I can't wait!

On a random note, I think the world would be a better place if humans gave back some of our carbon excretions to the trees. Like I'm totally thinking about the whole 'collecting' your waste to be made into high quality fertiliser for plants so that they can grow big and strong and provide me with alot of shade and oxygen. COS THE WEATHER IS SO FREAKING HOT NOWADAYS URGH. Besides, shit is valuable too you know.

welcome to wherever you are.

Just came back from cousin's wedding solemnisation a few hours ago. Dead beat omg.

But heck, its a wedding. I'll always feel good when there are weddings. My cousin-in-law's side of the event is very nice...maroon and gold. WOOO. Meeting my relatives make me feel happy..like there's this positivity in life kinda feeling. I really love my family though we rarely meet. The babies, the aunties, the uncles, the cousins.

Was in cousin Hadi's car and had this whole gush of thought and emotions about life just cos a malay love song was playing. Now, that's random. Nevertheless I appreciate my thinking moments, thank you very much cos they are very peaceful indeed.

Ok i think i gotta go sleep soon cos wedding reception is tomorrow and I need to wake up early and all that.

Thank God that my OG mates Natasha & Jia ying (idk who she is though) & Fadhil are in my class 1037. I've got this gut feeling that Peter Kellet's gonna be my CT. WHYYYYYY???

Oh yeah honestly speaking I think I don't really spend much bonding time with my OG, which is kinda bad. Had quite long conversations with them sometime and most of them are still having this 'out of place' feeling and such which I think I could understand. I think. But hey, it takes time to build friendships and comformity.

Anyway, school today was totally redundant cos it ended at 10.30 right after some unecessary admin talk in the hall. Went to the library to do math and then talked and talked and talked with Fadhil, Cheri & Ras. Then lunched with Ras, Wani and Siti and went to ML room to do math again but I ended up sleeping cos I was tired for god knows what reason. J1s had PW shit talk after that, HAHA. But honestly I miss pw a teensy weensy bit.

Looking at the J2s make me feel very sad. I mean apart from not being in the same cohort anymore kind of sadness, looking at them slogging their guts out and such is sad as well. I wished I could understand the stress they are going through, but I just don't. This is the gap I was talking about people. I just wish to give a big hug to all of them stressful kiddos.Everyone of you right this moment.

I saw this on my facebook wall and it made me tear:

Yi Qing Cheng:OMG I MISS SEEING YOU IN CLASS EVERYDAY :(

Fan Tai Soon: I owaes count wrongly leh lol

Olivia:  I keep thinking that someone is missing when we're going to class :(

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You guys don't know how lost I feel sometimes amongst all this new kids seriously. I really love you guys to bits. Seriously. *big hug* Luckily I have Arina, Cheri & Fadhil to chill with.

That's it, I'm gonna work my guts out this year.

up^

So orientation ended yesterday and I must say it was fun. Different but fun.

CCA promo day. JOIN SOCCER PPL.